Wuss

Last week I recieved the "O-Glorious-Great-Shiny-Black-Box-With-All-The-X-Files-Episodes" in my mail. Didn't have to pay customs or anything - what a glorius for the postal service to cock up. Which means I only paid about 66 quid for the bloody thing. Joy!

I can't even remember how old I was when X-Files first started airing in Norway, but safe to say I shouldn't have been allowed to see it. And it did scare the begeesus out of me. This coming from a girl who grew up watching films inappropriate for her age (because I stole them from my older siblings), like Jaws at age 5 and the Excorcist at age 6 or 7 (that one did scare me back then, though...). I don't think I'm a very squeamish or easily scared: the only two films I can ever remember freaking me out a tad was the Blair Witch Project, and the pyjama-clad chinese girl crawling out of the telly in The Ring. I don't find pyjamas, the chinese or tellies particularily scary, but there you go. Woods in the dark, on the other hand...

But I have to admit that some of the episodes I've seen up until now has actually made me feel a bit unnerved. Perhaps watching X-Files in the dark, alone in a big house in which your mum died, a wooden on that creaks at that, isn't the brightest idea I've come up with. But, those episodes on Eugene Victor Tooms... I really don't like that bloke. Another episode was about a parasitic worm-thing that came into your blood stream, grew into a maggot-thing, crawled around under your skin and wriggled its way into your brain, where it fed off something and made you rather... tetchy. I.e really flaming agressive and trigger-happy. Just the idea of something maggoty crawling under my skin makes me wretch and shudder all over. I still haven't finished that episode.

The career conundrum

As some of you might've picked up, I'm currently working at the local library, doing what most "librarians" do: I scan books in and out of the system, order books from elsewhere that we don't have, organize them and stuff them back in their shelves. Might sound like a rather systematic and tedious job, but frankly I love it. It might have something to do with my love of books - I suspect my mom started reading to me even before I saw the light of day, she left us a rather big book collection too, and I feel that I spent way more time in the library growing up than any average kid. I also suspect that because I learned to read early, I could watch english movies with subtitles ( which I strictly wasn't allowed to watch, like Jaws at the age of 6 or 7) and learn english more quickly. But that's just my theory.

Claiming that I've wanted to be many things, might be a bit of an understatement. The first things I remember wanting to be was either a fighter pilot, a native-American Indian or a police officer. My poor eyesight and wonky corneas ruled out the first, my strictly Norwegian and Swedish ancestors quickly ruled out the second, and my innate laziness ruled out the third. Then it was the space-age. Imagine working with space launches and shuttles, or on a telescope station... Oh, I need to be a maths genius for that? No deal.

So logically I moved on to archeology. Somehow, brushing dust of old ruins, pots and pans or bones seemed unbelievably exciting to me, probably because I've always liked history, I even tried studying it, but 6 months studying it at university sapped the joy out of academic history to me - I'll stick to books and movies, thank you.

When I went to high school some years earlier, I studied medias and communications, and I loved those three years. Learning about design, photography, journalism, filming, text composition and advertising was incredibly fun, but sadly I didn't magically discover any huge talent in any of these areas - the closest would've been the journalism, but I'm not curious or interested enough for that. And I hate the idea of having to go around with a portfolio and "sell myself" like a product, I just don't have that kind of self-confidence in me.

After a month in Africa, all I wanted to do was go back and work, and my first thought was to study development and the 3rd world. Of course I didn't get in at the study I wanted, that was why I ended up with history for 6 months, and when I researched it a bit more I figured that the place I'd most likely end up after studying that, would be some Ministry of Foreign relations office, or an embassy. Swimming around in papers? No thanks.

"It doesn't have to be that hard, stop waiting for some voice from the heavens or finding your calling. You like computers, no? Well, there you go. Study computer science!" My sister said. All righty then, sounds fair enough, she's older and naturally more wise then me. I took a pre-course in mathematics (a field we've already established I'm not exactly a genius in), passed, and started. Programming with C++ was all jolly exciting, I loved the "problem solving" of it, right up until the point where I didn't understand it anymore. Then we got engineering and abstract mathematics on top of it all, and combine that with my thousandth depression, and you have a crash and burn situation. I acknowledged my limitations and left after three months.

After that I haven't tried my hand at studying, I decided I had to clear my brain out before I would be able to function at school, so since then I've been working part time and going through therapy and treatment. For a while I worked at a senior citizens home, which I believe is the political correct term. I sort of liked it, I'm a caring person, I liked helping people who need it and I felt a sense of accomplishment. "Stop fooling around, you've been nagging about going back to Africa for years, become a nurse, then you can go back. And you have plenty of options in Norway too." That was a friend of mine trying to kick some sense of direction into me. I listened, and thought I'd decided. A nurse. I didn't want to work with old people, I wanted to be in a real hospital. Then I could go back to Africa and help kids with malnutrition and AIDS, give them food and shots and do something for humanity. If everyone says "There's nothing you can do about it, why bother?", naturally nothing would ever happen. And when I came back I could specialize. Maybe the intensive care unit? Cancer? Oh, or kids! I love newborns. Maybe mid-wife? The options seemed endless, and I finally calmed down for a year, concentrating on getting better.

Then I got this job. I feel I was sort of environmentally destined to be here. My mom loved books. My sister wanted to be a librarian (but didn't become one, weirdly enough thanks to mom). I've grown up around books, partly in this very library. And for the first time I like going to work. I don't monitor the clock every 15 minutes (like now, for instance, I was finished 38 minutes ago), I don't feel the need to sit down in a quiet area every hour just to catch my breath, the people I work with has a sense of humor and actually gives me praise for the work I do. So, what does that mean? Should I become a librarian? And there I go again...

'Scuse me... What?

Read a few articles online this morning that made me stare vacantly into space, blink, then going "Wait.. What?" And not because I'm tired.

The first article could inform me that a girl from Rwanda in her twenties was brutally raped and beaten up for over 2 hours at a refugee center in Rjukan, Norway, by a iraqi man. Bleh. What's wrong with people?! There were no employees at the center, because it was a weekend, and they didn't even arrest the guy, just moved him to another facility: the police thought there wasnt' any risk that he would do it again... Yes, clearly, he isn't liable to do anything like that.

Slightly less seriously was the story of a 28 year old who got his car deliberately crashed three times on European Highway 6 in northern Norway. A BMW came from behind at high velocity and crashed into him, and when he pulled over to call the emergency, the BMW also came to a halt and backed up straight into his car again. The clearly annoyed driver jumped out screaming "aren't you afraid to die?", jumped back in and backed into him yet again before taking off. Clearly an extreme case of road rage? Well, maybe, but one sentence in this article made me puzzled: "Greger got a bit of a surprise when he looked into he rear-view mirror after overtaking a BMW in a 80 kilometre an hour zone yesterday." Anyone stop to think that the 28 year old Greger might have done a very dangerous overtaking maneuver? A reckless maneuver that was the final poke at another mans already frayed mental state, a move that just really ticked the bloke off?

Finally I want to mention an article which deals with a case that is very explosive and sensitive. And because no one ever can be sure what happened, it's impossible to ever prove anyone wrong or right, but that didn't prevent me from reacting. 17 years ago we had something called "The Bjugn-case" going on in Norway - Ulf Hammern who was working at a kindergarten was accused of "alleged sexual abuse" against the kids at his work place. The whole thing blew totally out of porportions in an instant, eventually involving over 36 named kids, and leading to the arrest of 7 people, including the police chief in Bjugn itself, along with Hammerns wife and two employees at the kindergarten. Only Hammern ended up in trial, and was eventually acquitted of all charges. A horde of so called "competent people" had concluded that the children had been molested, but the court felt it couldn't trust these statements. Ok, fine, the case was a witchhunt, and no one can ever prove it one way or the other. What bothers me now is the article I read today, where a 20 year old girl who was one of the 10 kids Hammern was charged of molesting, says she's going to sue Hammern for "offending her honor". He had said in an interview that he thought the kids involved in the trial 17 year ago might've been "brainwashed" by their parents and all the professional people (psychiatrists, doctors etc) who had interrogated the kids (the art of suggestion can work wonders on a childs mind). She found this statement so offensive to her and her family that she, after much consideration, has decided to sue. First of all: let sleeping dogs lie? Come on people, this many years later no one can prove anything, why go poking at it with a stick? And that goes for both the young girl and Hammern. Secondly I have to ask myself what's the worst: Publicly being accused of being brainwashed when you went to kindergarten, or being accused of molesting 10 kids? If anyone has the right to be offended and generally pissed off, it surely should be Hammern?

All in all - three articles that made me question human kind that much more.

Missus Nifty is back!

Earlier I've admitted that I'm a real sucker for anything slightly nifty, stuff that can make my every day life, or certain situations, that much more bearable and easy. You might claim that it's rather weird that I can get excited about such things in the first place, but I'm a practical girl: I hang my own pictures, build my own furniture and change my own tires. Practical stuff is always good in my book.

The first thing I want to mention is Drizabone. I don't know about you, but I have an irrational hatred against rain clothes, especially rain jackets. Frankly, I find that any type of clothing which claims to be remotely waterproof and usually is made of some synthetic scratchy fabric, inevitably comes with the feeling of your skin being slowly suffocated in your own sweat. "Breathable fabric", my bum. And if there's something I hate, it's being cold, wet, clammy and sticky. A couple of years ago I really wouldn't have bothered much about this sort of thing, since any kind or rain/hail/snow was just another perfect excuse to stay inside with my trusty laptop and my tea. But now, I have a dog, and I've always said that if you take on the responsibility of having a dog, you better well make it a hobby and take it for walks. I can appreciate that I do live in Norway, which tends to have water falling from the sky in one form or another rather often, hence I need to find something to wear outside that won't cause my skin to drown in it's own sweat.
One day I read the word Drizabone somewhere, and from the context I could gather that it was something wearable, but that was it. In an uncharacteristic fit of curiosity I google'd it, and ended up on this site. Apparently it's a 100 year old Australian company who makes coats and gear out of oilskin, originally they made long riding coats intended for the Australian "cowboys" in the outback, and they were intended for tough wear in rough weather. Nowadays "Drizabone's" are very popular in Australia, obviously, but also with the ranchers and cowboys in the US, and with the country bumpkins in the UK who match them with their Wellies. They're not exactly fashion items, but the coats are made of natural materials, which breathes, and they're relatively cheap, at least compared to the supposedly "good" brands of foul weather clothing which is quite... Pricey. I'm getting one!

But what about the dog, you say? Nothing makes me more annoyed then seeing pooches being pimped out in biker jackets or gangsta hoodies, clothes are for humans, not for dogs. But the fact of the matter is that I own a small poodle, which leaves me with two choices whenever the temperatures down here drop below +5 C (which they do quite often): I can either let her fur grow, which means I have a lot of work to do to keep her fur untangled, or I can have her fur cut like it is now, but that would result in her freezing her tail off. And if she gets wet, she's even more of a wuss and starts to shake uncontrollably. It's only fair that she gets one too.

Earlier this evening, and I can't remember how, I ended up on a site called Joe Bananas. It's British and they specialize in selling "festival gear", and this site immediately made my gadget-radar go whoop-whoop! Here's a few of the things I found.
- Travel John: It's a bag. Which you can wee into. It contains crystals that solidifies your wee instantly, so you can close it up. Imagine lying in your underwear in a sleeping bag, realizing (very hungover) that you have to get out of the bag, get dressed, get out of the tent, walk three miles and then stand in line to wee, a thing you should've done three hours ago if possible. They claim it should work for both men and women, but I'm not so sure about the latter.
- Urinelle: A disposable cone through which women can wee standing up. Might come in handy on day 5 of the festival, when the port-a-potty looks more like the gateway to the seven circles of hell. Maybe it could be combined with the Travel John?
- Readybrush: Prepasted toothbrush!
- Solar camp shower: Pretty much self explanatory, fill it with water and leave it in the sun, it heats up the water quickly. Of course, requires both sun and water being available. I won't recommend stuffing it with beer and hanging it over the disposable grill.
- Festival pod tent: Single skin instant pop-up tent for one person, waterproof of course. How brilliant is that? "Oh dear, I have to put up my tent..." *FWOOOSH* "There we go! Nighty!"
- Wellingtons: Not exactly a gadget, but they do fit nicely under the category "nifty" when the campsite looks like a mudbath.

But I've saved the best for last. Because, in addition to the waterproof clothes, I also nurture a deep hatred for sleeping bags. Some call them cozy, I call them a torture device. They're clammy, they're too tight, I can't sleep in any of my usual spread-eagle positions, and I can't turn around in it without it going all wonky. But NO MORE! I have found the solution! The Lippi Selk'Bag. Fantastically stupid name, I agree, but the concept is brilliant. It basically looks like an overgrown thermal jump suit with extra zippers, which you can close around your arms and legs. Or, if you want to be pedantic about it, call it a body-shaped, wearable sleeping bag. You can walk around in it, sit in it, and when you turn around, it doesn't attempt to strangle you! If I don't get this for Christmas I'm buying one myself and not stepping out of it the entire winter. Maybe I should get the tent too, then I can pitch up in my living room, turn off the heat to save money, and stay in there with my Selk'Bag and the wee bag, and never leave. Uhm. On second thought, maybe not... Ew.

Gee, thanks...

Last night I stumbled over yet another one of those articles that makes me go "d'oh" and then proceed to *headdesk* (explained as "Unification of ones forehead with a computer desk as a means to vent frustration, often forceful.")

"An 18 year old boy robbed and killed a 54 yeard old taxidriver in Bangkok, Thailand this weekend. He claims he was inspired by the popular computer game Grand Theft Auto 4, reports Reuters. - He said he wanted to find out wether it is as easy to rob a taxi in real life as it is in the game.

The 18 year old risks being sentenced to death."

Yes yes, I'm sure it's a tragedy, but no matter how deep I dig I can't seem to find any sympathy for this boy. You have to have a rather twisted view on reality, or be exceptionally receptive against the art of suggestion, if a mere video game can prompt you to try and steal a cab. He claims the killing was "accidental", but he did stab him with a knife when the taxidriver tried to express that he didn't fancy getting his car stolen. "Well, gee, I did stab him, but I didn't know knife stab wounds could kill a man!" It's morons like this guy that gives us gamers a bad name! Yes, I have played GTA4, or at least tried it.

But more importantly, I grew up playing Duke Nukem 3D and Doom, which was pretty hard core stuff back then: guns, blood, gore and boobs. (Yes, I was a wierd girl, sitting at home as a 11 year old trying to complete Duke Nukem). I progressed to Quake and Half-Life, which basically was more of the same: Walk around, pick up guns and ammo, shoot everything that moves or even thinks about moving. Just about every game I've ever played to any extent involves kililng: CS, Starcraft, Warcraft, Red Alert, Tiberian Sun. And I turned out ok? Right? Eventually I grew out a bit .. well, not out of games, but a bit bored, maybe. Besides, new games are horribly expensive, and I've spent the past 3 years playing just one - WoW.

...

The only difference I can see between the games I've mentioned, and GTA4, is that the latter is placed in a somewhat realistic environment. But still, what on earth are you thinking if stealing a car seems like a fun thing to try. I'm going to steal what a mate of mine said last night: Video games doesn't increase violence, it just adds creativity. It gives people ideas.

Queen of Hearts

In my previous attempts at blogging, I sometimes posted bits and pieces of music lyrics, mostly because whatever they expressed suited me or touched me in some way or the other. And yes, these lyrics tend to be rather emo-ish, in the past I've quoted Nine Inch Nails and Tool. I've just been listening to Lars Winnerbäck, a swedish singer/songwriter I first heard when I stumbled into a live show he did at Arvika festivalen 2000, when I was about 14. My eleven year old sister liked him instantly, and as I grew older and wiser (but not taller), I did too, he has beautiful simplistic lyrics about life and love, often with a bitter-sweet undertone. This is the bit of lyric I got caught up in this time, it's from a song called "Tanken som räknas":

"Det är somliga dar som man vänder sig om
Och känner hur allting försvinner
Hur man jagar och far, hur man snålar och spar
Hur man lever så mycket man hinner.

Jag är inte fångad och frälst, jag har sålt mina enda maximer
Jag kan leva som vem som helst om jag tar mine mediciner.

Hjärter Dam, hur är du, har du samlat dig nu?
Har du funnit din mening i livet?
Lite mat och ett hem, et glas vin och en vän
Allt annat känns så överdrivet."

I'll try to translate into English, this rhymes in it's original language, but I'll at least try to get the meaning of the lyric right.

"Some days you turn around and feel like everything is disappearing.
You're on the go and chasing, you're saving and being stingy
You live as much as you have time for

I'm not caught or redeemed, I've sold my only aphorisms
I can live like anybody if I take my medication

Queen of hearts, how are you, have you gathered yourself?
Have you found your meaning of life?
Some food and a home, a glas of wine and a friend
Everything else seems so overstated."

Me - a future leader?

I just found an interesting article online which actually come from an online business/economy site. How in the name of all that's holy can anything on that site be remotely relevant to my interests? Well, this Professor from a college called NTNU in Norway claims that WoW-players of today are the leaders of tomorrow. Quite disturbing, actually, considering the amount of numb nuts I've encountered in my soon-to-be 3 years of playing. Anyways, this is what he said:

"-At high levels in WoW you're forced to coordinate various players and their competence towards the goals you seek to achieve. People from all over the world are then communicating with each other, the professor says. He also thinks that our future leaders must be far better at multi-tasking than they are today.

-Those who are digitally competent will have more possibilities then those who are not. That's what signifies the so-called "digital natives", their ability to multi-task."

Quite a few professors around the world seem to agree with him. adding that "leadership is something that can't be easily learned through theory. These web-based games give its players valuable practice in leadership and I think there will be a demand after this. These games are a safe platform for learning through trial and error."

Amazing. One day, WOW is an evil thing that should be outlawed or at least come with an age restriction of 30+, a game that causes kids to rot away in their dungeons, living off pizza and coke, neglecting education, friends and personal hygiene. The next day, it's a wonderful thing that helps evolve the multi-tasking and leadership skills of the leaders of tomorrow.
So what are they saying? The next generation of leaders will have smelly pits, no friends and no formal education, but they'll be brilliant at multitasking and leading? I'm not sure I want that boss. Unless it me.

Link to original article - in norwegian.

"Wanna know how I got these scars?"

Yes! I did it!
I got my bum out of the comfy chair, and went to see "The Dark Knight".
Y'know... The Batman film?
If you shrug at this point, go hide in shame. Because the amount of kerfuffle this movie has made is unbelievable - mostly due to the fact that this supposedly is a rather good Batman-flick, and because the actor portraying the villain supposedly gave such a good performance the Oscars should be renamed the Heath Ledger award.

Whenever a movie gets this amount of press coverage and praise, I react instinctively and jack my expectations down to bottom level. I hate disappointments, and things that gets built up too much usually tends to fall flat on it's face - whether it is a game, a book or a film. One book everyone claimed I had to read was the Alchemist, the reviews spoke of life-altering reading, so I bought it on vacation, read it, and was bored half to death. I just didn't see the appeal, and I was more moved by the disappointment than by the book itself.

Another reason for me being cautious is that the only Batman-film I've actually seen (yes, it's embarassing), is "Batman and Robin". George Clooney said some years after this was made that he blamed himself for killing Batman. And he's damn right. It really was appallingly bad, even Uma Thurman didn't manage to help this one out. I should've seen the other ones, I know, don't have a go at me for it.

So, I was rather low on expectations but loaded with candy when I sat down in the cinema to watch all three hours of it. My first thought was a rather skeptical "naaah, I'm not so sure". This was very early on, mind you, and my next thought was "you have to take this for what it is; a movie about a superhero". And that changed everything, because this isn't like your standard version of the genre. It has real guns'n'knives, real blood, (mostly) real cars (even a Lambo Murcielago!) and real explosions. No lasers, no funny ice cannons, no gentleman fighting that doesn't look like it really hurts. Simply, it doesn't try to be a movie that can be seen by everyone from 7 years and up, it has an age restriction of 15 (in Norway at least), and a modicum of reality, and I like that. Superhero's are often portrayed as exclusively good, their violence is always accepted and marked as just being "the means to an end", their actions are never doubted or questioned. This isn't the case in The Dark Knight - it's not just the bog standard good vs evil dilemma. And that makes the plot actually rather interesting, for a change.

As far as Batman goes, I think Bale did a damn good job. What I liked best about him was the way he turned his voice into a low growl whenever he donned the anatomically correct spandex. He uses it to mark a distinct difference between Bruce Wayne and Batman, and of course this voice-change makes it more difficult for people around him to "guess" who he is. It also works as a good contrast to the Jokers nasal, high pitched and psychotic voice, where as usually you should think it's the other way around; the mean has the dark, evil voice, the good guy has at least a normal voice. And lastly, it was kinda sexeh.

Well, what about the Joker then?
I'm... stunned. Got no words.
I'm not the one for jumping on the bandwagon every opportunity I get, but on this one I have to agree with the general public, and I'm happy to report that the praise isn't just a result of the fact that this was his last role before he died; he portrayed the best fucking villain, ever! Yes, give his daughter the Oscar her father should've received. The thing that I find really sad is that he didn't get this kind of credit for his acting when he was alive, and frankly I don't think many of us paid much attention to what he did while he was still alive. We never do until someone tragically dies way too young. I know I didn't, I've seen Brokeback Mountain, and I really liked it, but never thought of the incredible acting he did. He had such an attention to detail, and he showed that in The Dark Knight too; the twitches and body language, the voice, facial expressions, the eyes.

Even if you hate superheros, hate Batman, hate action movies: Go see it. Just for the Joker.