Horribul.

Know I haven't been the most prolific blogger the past week, mainly because nothing is happening apart from my intense urge to sleep around the clock - which is normal at this time of year. Secretly I think I was a bear in my past life, and the hibernation thing still kicks in.

But now, ironically, I can't sleep. Hence I roam teh intarwebz. I found a few interesting things, hence I need to rant.

Firstly: I just discovered totally randomly that someone who knows someone I am friends with ONLY because she’s a DM fan in the US has grabbed one of my lolmodes as a profile picture. Bizarre experience, seeing a thing you made and posted thinking maybe about 20 people would read, turn up as a profile picture for a random person.

Secondly: I just did something completely stupid. While on YouTube watching an interview with Martin Gore, I saw in a comment someone mentioning a Martin/DM forum which-name-shall-not-be-mentioned-ever-again. Curiosity took over (the same curiosity that killed the cat, I presume), so I registered and entered it. MISTAKE. The name-which-never-shall-be-mentioned-ever-again should’ve been a warning in itself, but no, I didn’t pick up on that. The forum was split into sections regarding Martin (mainly), Alan, Dave and Fletch. With dubious forum thread titles such as “fanfics”, “Put it away, Martin!”, “Martin’s girls” and “Martin’s Red Light District”, I went through these emotions in quick succession: Digust, awe, stunned disbelief, nausea, utter surprise, repulsion, embarrasment (for them, not me), relief (for me, not them), revulsion, being grossed out, shock, outrage, indignance and sheer pain. I felt utterly desecrated, filthy and damaged. I learned a few things though.

1. I have too much respect for Martin to openly discuss his “girlfriends”/family/divorce/one night stands/”scandals”/drinking/drug use/whatever. (Besides, how much of that is actually true?) Nor do I particularily want to see a gazillion pictures of his kids and or him in private settings, I feel like such a creepy fucking stalker.
2. I am normal. Way more normal than I imagined myself to be. By that forums standards, I am actually a sane, non-obsessive and balanced individual. This is the only good feeling I am left with, however.

I went into that forum hoping to find some cool pictures, either ones I liked or some I could put captions on. It turned out to be a slap in the face. I DID try to close my eyes/ignore the ominous threads I DIDN’T want to read, and focus on the threads that were supposed to be normal pictures, but the sheer amount of BATSHIT CRAZY made me come to a conclusion: no amount of pictures in the world is worth this crap - I had to get out of there. (And, I’ve never EVER seen forum people use THAT many smileys, either…)

Sadly, I dragged sisterofnight with me into this mess, and for that I am eternally sorry, but we did discuss it and realised what the forum did for us, and that was give us a warning about fangirlism: “Is this how you want to become? This is the path you are heading. Turn, now! Flee, you fools!” It’s like when you show smokers cancerous smokers lungs. It gives you a wake up call.

Yes, I love Depeche Mode. And I adore Martin Gore, I will forever admire him AND think he looks bloody good. But I am never, ever, ever, ever going back to that forum. Ever. Because it’s sheer evil.