Thank you, Harry Potter

Yesterday I just finished the seventh and last Harry Potter book. There's no more. Not even a page. I never thought that day would actually come. It all reminds me of the last Lord of the Rings-film. It's sort of an anticlimax really - "uhm.. what should I obsess and look forward to now?"

I know it sounds silly, being this sad over the end of a book series. But when you've read each book a minimum of 3 times, and have all of them as audio books on your iPod, and have a hard time falling asleep without listening to it, maybe it's not that strange. And when you've been through the stories that many times you can't help getting a relationship with the characters. I'd really like to know the Weasley's, actually, the twins in particular, and there's been many times I'd wish I'd gone to Hogwarts and there actually had been a wizarding world - life seems a bit more interesting and fun on their side. Childish, I know, but I hang on to the childish side of me.

As far as the book goes, I'm not going to reveal anything. Apart from the sad fact that she didn't leave any loose threads that I could hang on to, any reasons for her to write another book on Harry Potter. And it really was as full of twists and turns as I suspected, I spent half the book with my mouth open in disbelief, sometimes gasping or laughing aloud. The only complaint I have is that the "farewell" is rather short. Although, as I said earlier, she didn't leave any loose ends, she made the ending quite short. I guess she went for a "quick and painless" approach, but still... When I've followed these people for a timespan of 7+ years, I couldn't help but feel that they got sort of yanked away from me the minute the story was finished. I wanted to know more, what happened afterwards, how the lives of the "survivors" went on... I just realized that I'm essentially asking for another book here, and I guess that's no use. I owe Harry Potter (and in turn; Rowling) a thanks though. For endless hours of fun, and for showing me a magical world I could escape into.

In other news; I'm on sick leave again. Still fighting bacterial infections and bronchitis, I'm soon going mad. The penicillin is killing my stomach too, and all I want to do is sleep.

And I've found out that I probably won't be going to the Vestfold Vikingfestival 10-12th of august. The friend I was going to visit, whose cabin I was supposed to borrow, is starting school right after that weekend, so she couldn't meet me after all. Bah, I really wanted to go now that I've gotten my Viking clothes. Haven't managed to put it all on and take a pictures yet, the underdress needs to be altered a bit - the arms are way to wide, I can't do anything in them. It turned out rather nice tho, and when I calculate all I've spent on it including the damn VAT (moms at 25%), I'd damn better be pleased with it. Hope I'll get the chance to use it soon!

Is there anybody out there..?

... who reads this?

If there is, I just want to inform that I'm now sick again; I'm running a fever for the 4th time in 5 weeks! Earlier there's been lymphocytes, the flu and bronchitis, now I suspect there's either a throat infection or something like that; my throat hurts like hell. Tomorrow I'm going to call the doctor and command him to find out what's wrong with my immune system. Because this is just plain silly.

I've made a little addition to my upcoming tattoo; the word freestate. If you read the lyrics of this song a little further down you understand why. I'm looking forward to getting this, and I'm begging that I won't get sick for the trip to Oslo and the festival.

One last thing...

... before I go to bed: I love Depeche Mode. Dave Gahan in particular.
Discovered this song the other day, and the lyrics really spoke to me.

"Freestate"
by Depeche Mode

I can hear your soul crying
Listen to your spirit sighing
I can feel your desperation
Emotional deprivation

Let yourself go
Let your feelings show

Picking up the conversation
Deep in your imagination
Tune into the lonely voices
Talking of their only choices

Let yourself go
Let your spirit grow

Step out of your cage
And onto the stage
It's time to start
Playing your part
Freedom awaits
Open the gates
Open your mind
Freedom's a state

I can taste the tears falling
The bitterness inside you calling
Yearning for a liberation
Emotional emancipation

Let yourself go
Let your senses overflow

Step out of your cage
And onto the stage
It's time to start
Playing your part
Freedom awaits
Open the gates
Open your mind
Freedom's a state

Poor Harry Potter...

I finally got to see the new Harry Potter-movie yesterday. There wasn't any big surprises, luckily, neither good or bad. Being addicted to audio-books, I know these books by heart, so seeing the films are always exciting; what have they changed, what have they left out? And the films can never match the books, I know that, so I'm not even going to expect it.

But if you forget the fact that they're based on books, how was it? Good! All the Harry Potter films has kept me on the edge of my seat, wide eyed and tense with suspense, and this one wasn't any different. Amazing considering that I've read the books (too) many times and KNOW what's happening in the end.

SPOILERS! For those of you who haven't read the 6th Potter book, or seen the 5th movie, and don't want to know what's happening, don't read on.

Speaking of Potter, the last books is coming out in a couple of days! I've pre-ordered it and am looking forward to it like a kid waiting for Christmas. But one thought crossed my mind when I watched the movie; "Poor Harry Potter. Hasn't this kid gone through enough?" Rowling has to be a sadist to drag this kid through all the crap he's gone through. And really, she has to be very mean, I mean "The Grinch-type-mean", if she's dragged him through stuff like loosing his parents, having the most EVIL dark wizard as an arch enemy, having the WORST step-parents in the world, and then loosing both his godfather and Dumbledore, just to let him snuff it at the end. If she does that, I'm going to sue her. She's earned more than enough money on Harry's misery.

I'm a survivor!

Sunset over Jotunheimen
Originally uploaded by Slemmy

So, I survived the mountain. Actually, I quite enjoyed it. I had no problems being without electricity and water, as long as I have a solar panel that can charge my iPod every now and then. And I have to admit it's damn beautiful up there, and the mountain air makes me sleep like a baby. I'm even going up there again in a couple of weeks, and have bought shoes, a couple of durable pants and a jacket to keep me warm up there. Hopefully we'll get some better weather next time, Saturday consisted of rain, thick fog and wind.

Go to my Flickr page to see all the snapshots me and Mats took up there, some of them are half descent!

Going away for some days...

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Valdres. To an old cabin without water or electricity. I've packed my iPod and three books; Steinbeck's "East of Eden", Dan Browns "Deception Points" (in case I need some easy reading), and finally Jared Diamond's "Guns, Germs and Steel" (brilliantly interesting and entertaining book about human evolution, need to finish that one). I'm still not sure if I'm lookign forward to it or not. It might be nice tho - peace and quiet, the crackle of a fire, beautiful nature outside the window... hopefully I'll get calm enough to actually read and enjoy it, something I haven't managed for quite some time. But on the other hand - the weather forecast isn't looking good, it's a windy mountain, I have to walk outside to pump my own water and I might just end up bored as hell. Ah well, we'll see.

Oh yeah; went to the doctors (again!?) this Tuesday. There's just SO much coughing, retching and sleepless nights this body can handle. And lo and behold; I have bronchitis. And what did I get for a prize? More absence from work and a new penicillin cure! Gah. A windy mountain might not be the best place for me to be right now, but on the other hand I need to get away for a bit. At least I have an excuse for staying inside with a blanket and a book.


Ah well. I'll be gone until Sunday. If you haven't heard from me by Monday or Tuesday, call the Red Cross, National Guard or something. I'll post this picture just in case; it's a Vegvisir, a "magic viking rune compass" that vikings sometimes drew on their foreheads when in rough weather to guide them safely home so they wouldn't get lost. Hopefully it works for me too.

(Damnit, there's a new tattoo idea....)

Slight change of plans...

Involuntary insomnia always gives me the opportunity to obsess over things. Last night I couldn't sleep because of this dry annoying cough that's been bugging me increasingly lately. Hence I ended up obsessing over my tattoo plans. Now that I've made the appointment I suddenly got a bit unsure.

I still love the phoenix, I'm definitely getting that, no doubt. But two DM-related tattoo's can be a bit overkill. So I decided to look around a bit, and the first thing I checked was Smashing Pumpkins related tattoos. I've been a fan of them since I was 10 or 11, they taught me how listen to music, what good music is. And Siamese Dream is still the best album I own, and I'm not tired of it, 11 years after I started listening to it. And Billy Corgan's lyrics has taught me a great deal, and helped me through a lot, and shown me ways to express a lot of difficult sh**. Bah, here I go getting all deep again. Anyways, cutting a long story short, I'm trying to decide between these two. They're both graphic illustrations from the album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. As I've said I don't want to tattoo any band names or other names on me, I don't want anything too obvious. Maybe I'll add some lyrics later on. Bah, I cant decide. I'm leaning towards the winged hourglass right now. Maybe I should start a poll?

It's decided!

It's decided! I'm getting a tattoo! Or two! Mark off the 8th of August on yer calendars, that's the glorious day! And Jimmy is going to be the man with the ink. Jimmy Johnsen probably isn't the most trustworthy name I could find, but I've peeked around at his studio's webpage (along with many other studios), and although the page itself isn't that impressive, the photos of his tattoo victims - er clients - IS! He looks like he knows what he's doing, and I've also read good things about him in various forums. Besides; he replied to my email in about 5,2 seconds, amazing response time, kudos for that! Linky to Jimmy's Tatto Studio.

Now I'm really looking forward to Øyafestivalen! But it means that wednesday the 8th is gonna be a looooooong day. Up at about 6, drive to Oslo at 7, pop up the tent and get settled from 9.30, and then weave my way through the town up to Jimmy's at 11. And after a couple of hours in the needle-chair I'll probably go straight to Øya to watch Nine Inch Nails. Hopefully I'll get time to pop back to le olde tent for a beer and maybe a nap. Not necessarily in that order. Ah well, I'm not complaining.

To tattoo? Or not to?

Thoughts about a new tattoo has been simmering around in my mind ever since I got the first one. The one I got 2 years ago was a symbol I'd wanted for years, it's Tolkien´s "logo", and represents his initials J.R.R.T. I didn't have it done just because I love his books, but just as much for the fact that Tolkien signifies a connection to my mom, as she began to read the Hobbit for me when I was a little kid, and got me interested in reading in general. Having a personal symbolism behind a tattoo is always nice, otherwise it's just.. nothing. "Oh well, I slapped this here tribal on me arm because I though 'twas perdy..." *shakes head* Oh yeah, and you wanted to look cool, right? *sighs*

Ok, I'm not going to get into fights with anyone, people can do whatever they want with their bodies, however ugly, gross or wierd, I'm not to decide. Like my momma said about me: "she can wear a lampshade on her head as long as she doesn't shoot heroine or rob banks". And I have to admit that some tattoos look beautiful even without any particular meaning, but for me personally I wouldn't want to engrave anything remotely permanent on my body without it meaning something to me beyond "perdy to look at".

I've said for a long time that when I get better, mentally, feel that I can manage at least some parts of my life, and feel like I'm done with being depressed and feeling like a failure, I'll get a tattoo. To mark the occasion, at least for myself. And I have to admit, it might be a bit early, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. And that's a big step up! *cheers*

The two tattoos I want are actually things I've stumbled upon these last few days. The idea started with one - originally it was meant to be either a monkey (!) or a demon. The monkey came from the expression "a monkey on my back", which is a feeling you can relate to when you're constantly bugged with depressions and mood swings, this horrible nasty being you can't shake, but you can't quite reach it to beat the living daylights out of it either. If I didn't fint a suitable monkey I would've gone with a demon. "A demon on my back" works just as well, and the meaning is about the same. Anxiety and depressions bordering on psychosis often gets you in touch with the horrible parts of ones self. But here I'm getting all deep and emotional. That wasn't the point.

Anyhoo - lately I've changed my mind a bit. Firstly because I haven't found a suitable monkey and/or demon to tattoo, and secondly because I've found a substitute! I've been listening manically to Depeche Mode lately, and watching them on my new DVD, and has fallen in love with a logo of theirs; the Featherman. After watching the interviews on the same DVD, hearing the symbolism behind it, I thought "hm, this could be a cool tattoo". And I guess that Featherman could be a nice symbol of how it would feel to become mentally "well", light as feathers and ready to fly. And I found a graphic that combined the Featherman with the rose from "Enjoy the Silence", and I loved it. It's my little homage to Depeche, it has a personal symbolism to me, and it looks wierd and unusual!

While watching that famous dvd I couldn't help but notice Dave Gahan's tattoos, and did a little research on them. I really liked the one he had on his chest, and luckily found some good pictures and info on it. It's portraying a phoenix (all of you who's read Harry Potter knows what they are, right?), a bird that bursts into flame when it's time for them to die, only to be reborn in their own ashes. The whole symbolism of rebirth appealed to me - in Dave Gahan's case it symbolizes his own spiritual rebirth, or so I've been told. Maybe the phoenix could represent some kind of rebirth for me too - a mental one. A change in my life, in my mindset. And when it comes down to it, i just think the tattoo is damn beautiful. That's always a good last argument, right?

Nowadays I'm mailing a few tattoo studios in Oslo, and trying to figure out where to place the two. I'd like to have the Featherman on the lower part of my calf, ideally, and it won't be very big either. But the phoenix is a bit more of a problem. I'm not brave enough to cover my chest or lower back with a tattoo, I might be getting pregnant some time in the insanely distant future, and stretched and broken tattoos due to pregnancy can't be perdy. I'd love to size it down and place it on my shoulder blade, but I already have one on my neck.. Bah, I'll check with the person who probably know's best - the ink man.

Any comments or objections to these plans?

Ow.

Warning: new rant of complaining incoming.


So. I ended up in the hospital the other day. Surprised? Good. Not surprised? Shame on you.

A combination of nausea, stomach aches, showers of cold sweat and a general state of "god damn I'm tired", made my end up in the local "emergency room", doctors on duty out of hours. He ran some tests and said I didn't have anything to worry about, but if I began to throw up or have worse pains, I should contact them again. And lo and behold; I did. So they sent me to a hospital 80 mins away (in a cab!), in case my appendix was about to make explode or something to that effect.

They decided I was to stay there over night under observation, in case I got worse. Hence commenced the waiting. They also put a Venflon in my arm, in case I needed medicine or intravenous ... uhm, stuff. Just want to point out that this is a damn uncomfortable thing to have in your arm. And gives you a very gross feeling when they hook you up to the intravenous... ehm, thing, and you feel the lower part of your arm go cold.

I was finally wheeled into a room with two other women at 03.15, I was tired, nauseous and still in pain. And of course both of the horrid old witches started to snore! Then they woke me up at 7 to take my temperature, at 8 to take bloodsamples, and at 9 I was wheeled into the hallway because the ward were in a state of utter chaos with people everywhere. Safe to say I didn't sleep much at all during the day either, with people running around me all the time. Luckily I felt better during the day, and after they didn't find anything wrong on my ultrasound they said I could go home.

When I came home my temperature suddenly went up to 39,2 celcius, my head, joints and throat hurt... *drumroll* Enter; The Flu! My dad and I have a theory that the flu caused the stomach-aches and all the other horrible things too.

Ugh, I'm tired of being sick. Wether it's my back, my stomach, a fever or whatever kinds of shittyness. I wish I could be healthy and do my job.

/stop complaining