In just 13 days I'm leaving for London and the last leg of my own little Tour of the Universe! Squeeee!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Countdown calendar is back!
In just 13 days I'm leaving for London and the last leg of my own little Tour of the Universe! Squeeee!
Bad, bad blogger.
As some of you have pointed out to me over and over, I have been a horribly bad blogger. What to blame this time?
The excuses
Well, first of all I've had the traditional Great January Winter Depression. Most people gets excited by starting a new year, they like new years eve and am generally positive. I am not. Maybe it's just the innate pessimist in me, but I find starting a new year kind of exhausting, it takes me a month or two just to built momentum and get going. Hence the winter depression, which always renders me totally apathetic, steals all my creativity and leaves me sad and lonely.
Secondly, I've been in some post-pre-Depeche-Mode concert euphoria that has made me totally useless, I can't seem to keep focused on anything for more than 30 minutes straight. I had these grand plans about writing long and great blog posts after my concerts, bragging about how great they were and what I had experienced, and show off photos. And they were great, but when I come back I'm always so tired, drained and lost for words I have no idea when to even start.
Thirdly, I had two exams in January, and am supposed to have a third one in less than a week. I passed the practical one, and anatomy, which is great news. Am not so stressed about the medical calculus I'm having on Friday, I have 5 attempts on it and right now too much is going on. Am going to try to pass first time though.
The Internship
In a week, on February 15th, I'm starting a 10 week internship at a nursing home in my home town. Now, I've worked in nursing homes before, I've even worked in this particular one, hence this shouldn't scare me at all, but it does. It's been a few years since last time, and even though working with diapers and other disgusting stuff didn't bother me as much as I thought it would back then, I'm horrified at the idea this time too. I already know that geriatrics isn't my favorite field, and isn't what I want to work with, I'd much rather work in the other end of life, helping babies rather than old people who many of them are just waiting to die, it's too depressing for someone who is melancholic by nature. I have infite respect for those who work in nursing homes. Maybe it's just the prospect of 8 hour working days 4 days a week that scares me. School days are shorter, and not nearly as physically demanding as a day in a nursing home can be. But on the other hand it will be a nice change of pace from sitting in an auditorium or playing around with plastic dolls, hospital beds and needles.
The Martial Arts
Tomorrow, however, I am going to do something I've been thinking about for 7-8 years but always chickened out from: Start training Tae Kwon Do again. I trained it for a while back in high school, and in elementary school, and it's the only sport I ever found remotely fun to do, that and squash. Starting up again scares the shit out of me, I'm terrified, I can just picture all the running and sweating, being surrounded by young people who are very fit, gracious and healthy. But as the trainer said in his mail: the physical fitness will come, the point is to just get started. About once every hour I decide I won't go. But then I change my mind again. I want to do this, and I should do this, for my mental and physical health. It will make me stronger, have more energy and maybe give me more self confidence. *chants self-motivational mantra*
The Tour of the Universe
In less than two weeks I'm leaving for London, departing on early friday and coming back late on sunday. While I'm there I hope to fit in some general sightseeing and shopping with Julie, a pleasant dinner and drinks with fellow Depeche-fans, a Depeche Mode gig on the 20th plus subsequent afterparty. I'll get back home late on Sunday, work for a day and then be off again very early on tuesday morning, this time heading for Copenhagen and ultimately Horsens in Denmark, then zooming down to Düsseldorf until Sunday. This is going to be epic. But I am already terrified of the post-tour-depression that'll hit me on Sunday the 28th. Because that means this is over, the tour is over, no more last chances to go to a gig on some impulse. They'll go back home, rest and relax and Mart will hopefully write songs, and all will be quiet from Depeche for a year or two. And god knows they deserve it. I just need to find something to fill the "void" while they're on a break.
The excuses
Well, first of all I've had the traditional Great January Winter Depression. Most people gets excited by starting a new year, they like new years eve and am generally positive. I am not. Maybe it's just the innate pessimist in me, but I find starting a new year kind of exhausting, it takes me a month or two just to built momentum and get going. Hence the winter depression, which always renders me totally apathetic, steals all my creativity and leaves me sad and lonely.
Secondly, I've been in some post-pre-Depeche-Mode concert euphoria that has made me totally useless, I can't seem to keep focused on anything for more than 30 minutes straight. I had these grand plans about writing long and great blog posts after my concerts, bragging about how great they were and what I had experienced, and show off photos. And they were great, but when I come back I'm always so tired, drained and lost for words I have no idea when to even start.
Thirdly, I had two exams in January, and am supposed to have a third one in less than a week. I passed the practical one, and anatomy, which is great news. Am not so stressed about the medical calculus I'm having on Friday, I have 5 attempts on it and right now too much is going on. Am going to try to pass first time though.
The Internship
In a week, on February 15th, I'm starting a 10 week internship at a nursing home in my home town. Now, I've worked in nursing homes before, I've even worked in this particular one, hence this shouldn't scare me at all, but it does. It's been a few years since last time, and even though working with diapers and other disgusting stuff didn't bother me as much as I thought it would back then, I'm horrified at the idea this time too. I already know that geriatrics isn't my favorite field, and isn't what I want to work with, I'd much rather work in the other end of life, helping babies rather than old people who many of them are just waiting to die, it's too depressing for someone who is melancholic by nature. I have infite respect for those who work in nursing homes. Maybe it's just the prospect of 8 hour working days 4 days a week that scares me. School days are shorter, and not nearly as physically demanding as a day in a nursing home can be. But on the other hand it will be a nice change of pace from sitting in an auditorium or playing around with plastic dolls, hospital beds and needles.
The Martial Arts
Tomorrow, however, I am going to do something I've been thinking about for 7-8 years but always chickened out from: Start training Tae Kwon Do again. I trained it for a while back in high school, and in elementary school, and it's the only sport I ever found remotely fun to do, that and squash. Starting up again scares the shit out of me, I'm terrified, I can just picture all the running and sweating, being surrounded by young people who are very fit, gracious and healthy. But as the trainer said in his mail: the physical fitness will come, the point is to just get started. About once every hour I decide I won't go. But then I change my mind again. I want to do this, and I should do this, for my mental and physical health. It will make me stronger, have more energy and maybe give me more self confidence. *chants self-motivational mantra*
The Tour of the Universe
In less than two weeks I'm leaving for London, departing on early friday and coming back late on sunday. While I'm there I hope to fit in some general sightseeing and shopping with Julie, a pleasant dinner and drinks with fellow Depeche-fans, a Depeche Mode gig on the 20th plus subsequent afterparty. I'll get back home late on Sunday, work for a day and then be off again very early on tuesday morning, this time heading for Copenhagen and ultimately Horsens in Denmark, then zooming down to Düsseldorf until Sunday. This is going to be epic. But I am already terrified of the post-tour-depression that'll hit me on Sunday the 28th. Because that means this is over, the tour is over, no more last chances to go to a gig on some impulse. They'll go back home, rest and relax and Mart will hopefully write songs, and all will be quiet from Depeche for a year or two. And god knows they deserve it. I just need to find something to fill the "void" while they're on a break.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)