Now that's commitment

Firstly, allow me to just take a moment to cheer uncontrollably and bounce wildly around with unbridled glee and happiness.

AND - A - WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Now that that's out of my system, I'll return to my calm, composed, eloquent and reflected self.... No, I'm not, I'm still bouncing around. Figuratively speaking, anyway, a cancer hospital at midnight isn't a place you bounce happily around in anyway. What is the cause for this outburst of joy and excitement, you ask? Well, I've turned slightly insane. Or just very impulsive. I have a personality disorder, we do that, we have impulse control issues. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it!

"What I've done this time?" Well, I sort of booked flight tickets. To London. All alone. In December. But it was so cheap! €36 for a round trip ticket from Oslo to London and back. Allright, I have to fly from Torp, granted, and land at Stanstead, but really, who cares, I'll drive to Torp and hop on a train at Stanstead to central London, it'll be fine. I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now, going to London. I've never been to England, let alone London, except when I had a 12 hour lay-over at Heathrow on my way home from Malta. For a girl who writes more English than Norwegian, love British humor and adore Top Gear this is sort of a shame, and should be rectified soon-ish. And now that I actually have some money, I had to seize the opportunity.

"And what will I do in London all alone?" Aah, you see, the thing about travelling alone is that all though it may sound lonely, you don't have to cater to anyones needs but your own. So, after huffing and puffing through London and hopefully finding my hotel (I'll probably stay here) I'm going to try and get to central London to see if I can find Big Ben or something, walk around, stare at people and things, maybe see the London Eye or Madame Tussauds. Hopefully I'll find a brochure or a nice receptionist who can point me in the main direction of something vaguely interesting. Oh, and I thought I could do some christmas shopping! Yeah, that's a good argument...

And what do you know, Depeche Mode just HAPPENS to play at the O2 when I'm there! It's magic, fate, destiny, like it was meant to be! Well yeah, so I got a ticke for that too. *cough* But it had nothing to do with it orignally, honest.

Anyway, that's the plan. A flight, a hotel, a city, a band, then home again. If anyone is dying to join me, you're more than welcome. I haven't booked a hotel just yet...

Finally something new!

I have finally managed to find some music that actually interests me, and that ISN'T Depeche! W00t! It's not exactly something brand new, I heard about Detektivbyrån before I went to the Arvika-festival, and liked both their music and their concert very much (one of the nicest, warmest and relaxed shows I've ever been to). But I just discovered a"new" song via my wonderful, whimsical and sometimes downright spooky shuffle-button. It reminds me of the Arvika festival, and miss the mood I had while I was there. I spent months and months looking forward to it, and when I was finally there I was downright knocked out by the heat, it was all over to soon and now that I look back I wish I could go back in time and relive it (and probably found some bloody way of chilling my beer). It is weird how I never seem to BE where I am, and live in the moment. I'm much better at looking forward to something, and then looking back at it later. Not a good trait. And the song makes me miss the summer heat and the sun. In short, it makes me happy, and it's a nice change from having Dave or Mart constantly in my ear. Well not litterally, you know, ew, but.. You get the idea.

Black celebration.

Spending another week at Radiumhospitalet as moral support and company for my mate. He's starting to feel it now, lying in bed more and dozing off occasionally. Not that he is complaining, and seeing the state of a lot of the other patients, he is getting away rather easily with this whole chemo thing. This time. He didn't last time, so he knows how "lucky" he is.

Boy, a hospital can be the loneliest place in the world at night time. Can't imagine how it must be for the patients. Thank heavens for internet. And I can't sleep, as per usual. All though I should be ready to pass out, I was up at 11, which is about four-five hours earlier than I've normally been up the past weeks (shameful, I know), and by then I hadn't slept more than 5-6 hours. Must be that instant cocoa I had - it's some kind of sugar rush.

Oh, hang on, my mate rolled around in his sleep and pinched the IV cable, alarms going off...

Right. Had to give up on my knitting project, before I even had the chance to start. Found a online version of a knitting pattern for a hat, which seems to be sort of incomplete. It's hard enough following english knitting instructions when I'm out of practice as it is, I can't be asked to decipher codes and figure out missing parts too. Will have to wait for that punk knit book from Amazon. Can't wait to make my own "Yarn on Floof"-hat! Just like the one the Martin wore during the Playing the Angel tour.

Without the knitting project, I'm now left with a season of Sorpanos, a few movies ("Milk", "Changeling", "The day the earth stood still"), and a few DM-dvd's for entertainment. Oh, and a few books on nursing. Which I am terrified of. Having horrible visions of me opening the books and discovering they're all in greek or russian, or seeing the letters crawling around within its pages. Maybe that'll be my goal for the week, to overcome my fear of books I need for studying.

Accidentally came over the lyrics for Black Celebration in the car today - heard the song before but never really listened. When I did pay attention, I almost giggled, but in a melancholic way. This song could've been written by yours truly back when I was horribly dark and depressive. But I didn't, Martin did. He always seems to find the words. Simplicity is often the best. I am still horribly dark and depressive, sometimes. But when I am, I know Martin's got my back.

Lets have a black celebration
Black celebration
Tonight

To celebrate the fact
That we've seen the back
Of another black day

I look to you
How you carry on
When all hope is gone
Can't you see

Your optimistic eyes
Seem like paradise
To someone like
Me

I want to take you
In my arms
Forgetting all I couldnt do today

Black celebration
Tonight
To celebrate the fact
That we've seen the back
Of another black day

I look to you
And your strong belief
Me, I want relief
Tonight

Consolation
I want so much
Want to feel your touch
Tonight
Take me in your arms
Forgetting all you couldn't do today

Black celebration
I'll drink to that
Black celebration
Tonight


Why does my short blog-posts always turn out the longest? And sorry for not being able to make a single post without mentioning Depeche Mode. When you're hung up, you just are.