Black celebration.

Spending another week at Radiumhospitalet as moral support and company for my mate. He's starting to feel it now, lying in bed more and dozing off occasionally. Not that he is complaining, and seeing the state of a lot of the other patients, he is getting away rather easily with this whole chemo thing. This time. He didn't last time, so he knows how "lucky" he is.

Boy, a hospital can be the loneliest place in the world at night time. Can't imagine how it must be for the patients. Thank heavens for internet. And I can't sleep, as per usual. All though I should be ready to pass out, I was up at 11, which is about four-five hours earlier than I've normally been up the past weeks (shameful, I know), and by then I hadn't slept more than 5-6 hours. Must be that instant cocoa I had - it's some kind of sugar rush.

Oh, hang on, my mate rolled around in his sleep and pinched the IV cable, alarms going off...

Right. Had to give up on my knitting project, before I even had the chance to start. Found a online version of a knitting pattern for a hat, which seems to be sort of incomplete. It's hard enough following english knitting instructions when I'm out of practice as it is, I can't be asked to decipher codes and figure out missing parts too. Will have to wait for that punk knit book from Amazon. Can't wait to make my own "Yarn on Floof"-hat! Just like the one the Martin wore during the Playing the Angel tour.

Without the knitting project, I'm now left with a season of Sorpanos, a few movies ("Milk", "Changeling", "The day the earth stood still"), and a few DM-dvd's for entertainment. Oh, and a few books on nursing. Which I am terrified of. Having horrible visions of me opening the books and discovering they're all in greek or russian, or seeing the letters crawling around within its pages. Maybe that'll be my goal for the week, to overcome my fear of books I need for studying.

Accidentally came over the lyrics for Black Celebration in the car today - heard the song before but never really listened. When I did pay attention, I almost giggled, but in a melancholic way. This song could've been written by yours truly back when I was horribly dark and depressive. But I didn't, Martin did. He always seems to find the words. Simplicity is often the best. I am still horribly dark and depressive, sometimes. But when I am, I know Martin's got my back.

Lets have a black celebration
Black celebration
Tonight

To celebrate the fact
That we've seen the back
Of another black day

I look to you
How you carry on
When all hope is gone
Can't you see

Your optimistic eyes
Seem like paradise
To someone like
Me

I want to take you
In my arms
Forgetting all I couldnt do today

Black celebration
Tonight
To celebrate the fact
That we've seen the back
Of another black day

I look to you
And your strong belief
Me, I want relief
Tonight

Consolation
I want so much
Want to feel your touch
Tonight
Take me in your arms
Forgetting all you couldn't do today

Black celebration
I'll drink to that
Black celebration
Tonight


Why does my short blog-posts always turn out the longest? And sorry for not being able to make a single post without mentioning Depeche Mode. When you're hung up, you just are.